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| blogs.cisco.com |
This summer I took a month-long trip to Switzerland and in spite of the beauty landscape and my welcoming family, Jesus held my hand as I walked through a trial. There was almost nothing I could do! I set out to protect my heart from anything that could wrench me from my Savior and into the hands of the world (read: avoiding secular music, television...etc.) and apart from reading the Bible and listening to Christian music and watching Christian movies via Youtube (with lots of cuddling sessions with my cute 6 year old cousin!), I had to sacrifice. I desperately wanted to hang out and spend time with my older cousins, but their secular ways created a barrier between us. Most days I spent alternating between reading the Word, listening to uplifting music, and crying out to God. This gave me strength, along with a few verses in Hebrews 12 which read:
"My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline, but don't be crushed by it either. It's the child He loves that He disciplines; the child He embraces, He also corrects. God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them.But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, or course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God." -Hebrews 12:5-11 (MSG)You can imagine how I felt when I got home, right? Finally! Home! Where I belong! Where it's easy to be a Christian! But I felt awkward in my own home- not sure if I should embrace it or live the 'martyr' life by never getting comfortable in my surroundings and serving God as I felt Him lead me. This went on until about yesterday, when I reached a point where I would not let myself have fun if I didn't have quiet time or fast or do anything that brought me closer to God. I was miserable. I wanted God's plan for me and had surrendered my life to Him, and now I was caught between a crossroads: 'seeking' Him by depriving myself of the blessings He's given me, or enjoying my life and the blessings He's given me? I chose the latter with joy and told Jesus that He still had my life, and I would do whatever He bid me to do and that I was going to enjoy the blessings He's given me and continue seeking Him each morning with all of my heart...and I also told Satan I would not buy into the lie that I didn't deserve to enjoy the blessings. The enemy whispered lies in my head like, "You can go watch TV....but after you spend three hours with God. (Mind you, I'd just spent the whole morning with Him!)" Things like, "You're not growing any closer to God by doing such and such." I would read Christian biographies and hear, "She gave up everything to follow Him...what are you doing?" Girlfriend, let me tell you, this is a common issue for Christians! But I'm free from those lies, and you can be too!
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| rockfordsprings.org |
Like Joyce Meyer said, "We are not built for guilt."
She says in her book, Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoes, that when, "...When our ministry takes people to the mission field for the first time, they usually come home after seeing such severe poverty and feel that they should never buy anything again that is not vitally necessary, and that they should give away everything else. We went through the same thing but soon realized that while God was asking us to help the poor, He was not asking us to become poor. People who start to feel guilty after a mission trip and begin to live on what they need to barely get by quickly become unhappy, unless of course God has given them a special grace to make such an extraordinary sacrifice. They cannot understand why they are unhappy because after all, they are doing the noble thing. However, they are doing something that is not necessary and that God never asked them to do" (Meyer, 12).That is exactly what I felt! Reading this book and the Scripture along with it really made the idea stick. God is not asking me to give up everything I own. I already told Him I would follow Him wherever He wanted me to go. Right now, He wants me seeking Him every morning, obeying His Word, and enjoying my blessings. That's it. The reasoning was so simple I couldn't believe how far I'd let my mind get religious. *Shudder* My emotions and relationship with Jesus were all taking a toll from just doing what God didn't ask me to do. Jesus did say:
"Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." -John 10:10 (MSG)Satan was killing and trying to destroy my happiness and my relationship with my God, all because I was listening to the lies and doing something God didn't ask me to do. If, of course one day Jesus puts His finger on something He specifically wants me to remove from my life, of course I will pick up that cross and carry it. But my point is- don't make yourself miserable before you think you don't deserve to enjoy the blessings God's given you! After the trial in Switzerland, I was burned out. My batteries were dead. I needed to recharge them and do something for myself and my emotions so I could recharge and be well emotionally, spiritually, and physically so that I can follow Jesus into the next thing He's got for me. So, I'm celebrating. I'm doing the things I enjoy, like going to the library and just being, writing this blog post, talking with Jesus in my favorite spots, and just being me. Yesterday, after I got my head together, I went out with my mom and bought a whole bunch of back to school clothes and some new shoes I'd been needing. I'm so happy to say that I was content just to be doing something nice for myself, and content knowing that Jesus approved and encouraged me to celebrate the journey and how far He'd taken me. He even helped me find some things!
| brookeanglin.typepad.com |
Last Words:
Jesus is the True Source of happiness. If I'm doing something He wants me to do, I instantly have happiness and peace at heart. That is why I'm writing this post about celebrating- it's not that you need to buy something to feel happy- it's knowing that you're allowed and encouraged to sometimes lavish on yourself because God wants you to enjoy your life and enjoy it abundantly. New clothes and new shoes are great, but for me, pleasing Jesus is better. Taking care of yourself and doing something you enjoy is NOT a sin- Jesus created us with a body and emotions and wants us to take care of them, but remember, Jesus is and will always be the True Source of Happiness. Lavish yourself with love from your Father, and then go do something you enjoy. I'm telling you, you'll feel closer to your Father than anything.
Until next time,
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