The Past and His Love

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"But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward- to Jesus. I'm off and running and I'm not turning back" (Philippians 3:18, MSG).

Do you see the determination in this verse? It was the first thing that stuck out to me when I read this in the Message Translation. I'd been looking back at my journal and memories from the last few months of having wonderful communion with the Lord, and wondered why my time with Him now didn't look like it had. It was something I'd been praying about this for awhile but hadn't really gotten an answer, just a little Scripture about the past that I shook off. I didn't want Scripture's answer, I wanted His.

And I got Him. Not just an answer- Him. Comforting arms and all.

I read this verse above and documented the following in my personal journal:

"Has my problem been the past the whole time?"

Again, He showed me this in Genesis, during the destroying of Sodom and Gomorrah:

"Angels said to Lot, "Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!" 

I processed this for a moment. I was almost swept away, and I supposed it started when I began "looking"( i.e. comparing, dwelling, and wondering if our relationship was better now or in the past) back. I wondered why the angels said these things with such intensity and not a solemn warning. Was it imperative that they didn't look back? If so, why? The idea of "looking" back at the past and possibly getting stuck became a real possibility. If you do reflect on the past too much and begin "looking" is it possible that you could actually stay there like Lot's wife? Could you convince yourself that the opposite of Scripture is true for you and your life? Yes. I was doing it!

I was convinced I was becoming more worldly with each day and almost believed it! I was having thoughts that told me I wouldn't get past January as a believer and see my spiritual birthday celebrated in March. The truth?

LIES. LIES! Everyone of them- lies. THE DEVIL IS A LIAR! You know what the Bible says? 

"Forget about what happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new" (Isaiah 43:18, MSG).  

I like the NIV version better because it perfectly describes how I was feeling and what He's saying to me:

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now is springs up, do you not perceive it?" 

As long as I was "looking" in the past I wasn't going to perceive it! I wasn't going to see the new thing! I was going to end up  like Lot's wife- a pillar of salt stuck in the past! How awful! 

I can't tell you how grateful and in love I am that He (butterflies in my stomach, lol) would take the time and tell me that. I gave Him my fears and traded them for His promises whispered so sweetly in my ear- the fact that He WILL NEVER   stop His good work in me until I see Him and I'm like Him, as it says in 1 John. 

Right now, I'm gonna keep doing what I've always done (in a good way, haha). Having wonderful, beautiful quiet time with Him everyday, being my best by obeying His Word, and pouring my heart out to Him.

So Lord, help me to quit complicating the things You made for my enjoyment and start trusting and loving You- and then You'll do the rest. Thank you for making things simple. I love You.